More like the sitcom that never was..
What do you get when you put six twentysomethings in one dinner table?
A slew of one-liners, punchlines, anti-punchlines, quirks and smirks in between
cake slices and cold coffee.
Here's an earful of what it's like trying to make sense of life and
making a point
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John: I don't watch TV, anymore. I download.
Meg: It's the same thing.
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(Sylvan handing out his MUSE magazines.)
Marge: Ano 'to?Sylvan: That's my latest advocacy.
Meg: Ano daw? What's his latest advocacy?
Sylvan: Arts and culture.
Meg: So, can we send contributions to the magazine?
Dred: Yeah, can we?
Sylvan: Sure. Just send them to me. I'll read them. And then I'll throw them into the trash.
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Marge: I have colds.
Sylvan: You shouldn't even be out. This is bad for you.
Marge: Yeah. I'm going home by 9:30.
(Minutes later, Marge wolfed down a whole Cold Rock sundae. And she went home past midnight.)
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Meg: Okay, where we eating?
Dred: Sylvan has one rule.
Marge: Anong rule ni Sylvan?
Dred: No fancy food.
Sylvan: Why don't we try Grappas?
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Meg: I'm going for NSG.
Sylvan: Sports Grill is fine.
Dred: John hates NSG.
Marge: Yeah, ayaw nga nya.
Meg, Sylvan, Dred: NSG na!
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Sylvan: I'm organizing a cultural immersion in Banawe. So, you'll all plant rice.
Meg: What? Do you we have to do that?
Sylvan: Of course. How will you know how the people live if you don't experience what it is like to plant rice?
Meg: And, will you be planting rice, too?
Sylvan: No.
John: He'll give the orders.
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John: Five words. Rasha had a blown-out tire.
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John: Her tires burst. Near my place.
Rasha. In Gilmore.
Meg: And you helped her?
John: No. I brought our boy.
Rasha: He can drive but he can't change tires.
John. Shhh. You're riding with me tonight! Hah!
Rasha: I can take a cab.
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Marge: Do you know what happened to Gretchen?
Meg: I've heard about it from friends. Cause you see, the industry is small.
John: Whoa! The industry is small.
(Three hours later.)
Rasha: Do you guys know what happened to Gretchen? But, uhm, well, I just heard about it from friends.
Sylvan: Wow, from friends... Sige nga, tell us.
John: Yeah, let's see who has better friends in the industry. You or Meg!
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Marge: Did you get that e-mail? Yong kay Angelica Panganiban.
John: I don't know her. But I saw it. And if that's true, kawawa naman sya.
Sylvan: I don't know who Angelica Panganiban is. I mean, I've heard of her.
Meg: Mildred, explain.
Dred: Okay Sylvan. First, Angelica Panganiban is an artista.
John: That was so mean! That was baaad! It's like saying zero and one are numbers.
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Dred to Rasha: How was the photo-shoot?
John: Nude. Marge: As in, really nude?
Rasha: Yes, nude. Well, they used some accessories.
Sylvan: Nude? What is this? Where is this?
Rasha: Some high-end photographers' group. For arts' sake.
Sylvan: So, the models are nude?
Rasha: Yes, nude.
Sylvan: Where is this?
John: How do I join? How do I get in?
Rasha: Well, you have to have a cam.
John (taking out his phone with a 3.2 megapixel built-in cam): Will this do?
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John to Dred: Can I see your phone?
Dred: No.
John: And, why not?
Marge: It has nude pictures.
Meg: Our little lily is a nudist.
John: But I want to see your phone.
Dred: No.
John: You're self-centered!
Dred: Am not.
John: Yes, you are.
Dred: Am not.
John: Yes, you are.
Dred: Not.
John: Are.
Dred: Wait, I have text. My friend texted that Anne Curtis has a new boyfriend. It's on TV.
John: Anne Curtis. You know, it makes me think. And this is really hard. I mean, I go thinking, it's really difficult to choose between Anne Curtis and Heart Evangelista.
Meg: What!?
John: Yeah. Guys have this problem, you know. I mean, look at Anne Curtis. She's okay, but her family isn't. And Heart Evangelista. Her family's okay, but she isn't. It's so hard to choose. It's so hard for guys.
John to Sylvan: Who would you choose?
Sylvan: Hmm. Heart Evangelista because she's wholesome.
Everybody: She's not wholesome!!
Sylvan: She's not?! Okay.
John: So, who would you choose?
Sylvan: I don't know.
John: See, that's my point.
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John: And Anne Curtis, I mean, sino barkada nya, si Danica? Look at her family.
Meg: Every family's dysfunctional. My mom hangs a bat at our gate and it's not even halloween. And my dog ate our baby Jesus.
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Marge: We're so quiet.
Meg: Yeah. Let's pick-on Sylvan.
Sylvan: Let's pick on John.
John: Let's pick on Dred.
Dred: Let's pick on Rasha.
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Sylvan: I don't watch TV, anymore. But I watch Y Speak. I want to know what the youth is thinking.
John: Rasha is youth. What are you thinking Rasha?
Rasha (clueless): Huh? What?
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Dred: On the phone, John was like, yes then yes, then, yes.
John: Yes, I don't say YEAH, anymore. I'm so British!
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Marge: So, what do you wear to work now?
John: I wear a suit. And as much clothes as I can.
Dred: A suit! Like Barney?John: Yes, like Barney!
Meg: Who's Barney?
John: How I Met Your Mother.
Dred: How I Met Your Mother.
Marge and Meg: Not again.
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John: I don't watch TV, anymore. But, did you guys see Fashion Runways? Did you guys see the latest Survivor? And who were the lamest?
Meg: The whites. Hah! That sounds so racist. Whites.
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John: I don't have a life.
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Sylvan: We are a consumerist society. That's why, it's only the malls who are thriving.
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John: I saw Survivor, and I'm hooked again!
Dred: Say it again, John.
John: I'm hooked again!
Meg: It's on the headlines. John's Hooked. John's Hooked Again!
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Meg: So, if you're in the zoo, circus or something, what will be your special talent?
Dred: I'll feed a killer whale.
Sylvan: Everybody can do that.
John: That's not a talent.
Dred: It's not? It's a killer whale!
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Dred: Si Rasha, what's your talent?
Rasha: Probably put make-up on the animals.
Sylvan: Yes, she can do that.
Rasha: I can't. Their skin is too thick. It'll be hard.
John: Talagang pinag-isipan.
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Marge: Ang laki na ng face ko. I'm so fat na.
Sylvan: It's okay. Lahat naman tayo tumaba, eh. Lahat. Para patas.
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Sylvan: I had flu. I couldn't talk for seven days.
Meg: So you were like (waves and hand signals).... ..
Dred: Yeah, like this? (motions and does hand language).
Sylvan: No naman. I could speak a little.
Meg: Like this? Uhmm.. ugh..ah...ugh.
John: The two of you are so mean. It's like you planted yourselves in the middle of the table, so you can hit on your target!
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Mildred: You should see How I Met Your Mother.
John: Yeah, 'di mo na kelangan mag-isip. It's so funny. It's like Friends. But without the sex part. Friends is 70% sex.
Meg: Of course not, Friends is not 70% sex. It's 50% sex.
Sylvan: Oh, really, did you make an actual computation?
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